Introspection

It isn’t the sudden lightness of the mattress that wakes him, nor is it the cold draft that enters the room when Ronon opens the balcony door. The moment Radek wakes is when he rolls over and finds only warm sheets where there should be a strong, muscular body to cuddle up to, thick dreadlocks to wrap his hands around. Blinking his the confusion of sleep away, Radek sits and reaches blindly for his glasses, finding them where they always are, perched on top of Ronon’s gun on the bedside table.

With nothing but a sheet wrapped around his torso, he walks out to join his lover at the balcony, resting his arms on the metal that seems to retain heat. Despite the entire afternoon he and Rodney spent studying it, they can’t figure out why the metal doesn’t cool down during the night, but it means that the railings are quite comfortable to rest on.

Ronon has never showed any kind of modesty in the time they’ve been lovers. He stands beside Radek now, wearing nothing but whatever weapons are hidden in that mysterious hair of his. When Radek goes to sleep beside him, he always feels completely safe in the knowledge that anyone who attacks them in the night will find themselves up against his naked, angry Satedan boyfriend. As Radek shivers in the cool night breeze, he wonders whether Ronon is cold, but not showing it, or whether seven years on the run has increased his tolerance to the point that he doesn’t even notice the cold.

The Satedan doesn’t turn his head when Radek appears next to him, although the Czech has no illusions that he hasn’t noticed. Ronon notices everything. To him, Radek’s desire had been so transparent that the first words he’d said to Radek were “wanna fuck?” Rodney had been at the table at the time – until then, Radek had no idea that Jello could come out of a person’s nose.

And of course his answer had been yes, although his initial reaction had been somewhat similar to Rodney’s, except without turning his snot blue for a week. Ronon had merely smiled at his wordless gasps and told him to visit his quarters if he ever made up his mind. Two days later, Radek found himself standing in front of a door, on the verge of turning away and forgetting the whole thing – and that would probably have been the outcome if Ronon hadn’t been the person who notices everything. The door had opened, five huge fingers had grabbed his shirt and the next thing he knew, he was flat on his back on Ronon’s bed, losing clothes faster than he could keep track.

He had soon found out that although Ronon likes to get him naked as quickly as possible, he takes his time with the lovemaking. It had taken him approximately three hours to map out every single place Radek likes to be touched, the exact spots that will make him gasp and arch his back when Ronon kisses or licks or bites or sucks. It had been another thee hours until Radek had been allowed to come, a month until Ronon had discovered all of Radek’s kinks (mostly by tickling Radek until he confessed) and another two months until they had tried all of them out.

But that isn’t the best thing about sleeping with Ronon. If Radek had to decide on the thing he likes most about his lover, it would be the smug look he wears during staff meetings, when Radek fidgets in his seat, trying to find a position that doesn’t make his ass protest about what they’d been doing the night before. When Ronon smirks like that, everyone knows. Radek has spent countless meetings watching Elizabeth try to keep a straight face while her eyes keep flicking between him and the Satedan. He doesn’t know whether she approves of their relationship, but he is sure that the way Ronon’s grin widens every time he catches her looking makes her uncomfortable.

Rodney is more vocal about his attitude to their relationship. He can’t understand why an intelligent scientist like Radek would choose to sleep with a caveman, as he puts it. When Radek pointed out that Rodney had his chance with him and turned him down, the Canadian started spluttering and trying to explain that it wasn’t what he’d meant, and besides, he was straight, and even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t sleep with Radek… it was at that point that Miko had arrived with the coffee and Rodney had looked grateful enough to kiss her. Radek secretly believes that Rodney protests too much, but he isn’t going to push it. If Rodney doesn’t figure it out himself, Carson is sure to eventually drag him into a supply closet and force him to confront his sexuality.

Radek smiles as he imagines the look on Rodney’s face as Carson’s hand slips below the waistline of his trousers… and shaking his head to clear the image, he tells himself to stop imagining his friends doing things like that. That is one kink he and Ronon have yet to explore. He likes to think that a threesome in their future is not impossible – if not with Rodney then with Carson or John – but for now, Radek has everything he wants. It’s been almost a year since the night he forced himself to make the journey to Ronon’s quarters, and for him that year has been spent slowly falling in love with the Satedan. Everything about him, from the way he holds his knife and fork as if they are weapons, to the strange songs he sings in the shower until Radek joins him with Czech songs of his own, has brought him closer to the point where he wants to live with Ronon for the rest of his life.

When Radek was in bed for a week with the illness that made every breath feel like it was laced with daggers, Ronon cancelled his early morning runs with John, stopped meditating with Teyla and training with the Marines and spent the entire week with his arms wrapped around Radek, stroking his hair and only getting up to fetch food, bring a new bowl for Radek to be sick in, or give him a sponge bath.

(After that, sponge baths became Radek’s new kink.)

As an atheist, Radek doesn’t believe in marriage, at least in a religious sense, but if that wasn’t “in sickness and in health”, then what was? Maybe Satedans had some special ceremony they could ask Elizabeth to perform. Radek frowns in surprise as he realises that he’s considering the possibilities of getting married. It’s never crossed his mind before. Has Ronon ever thought about it? He glances sideways and finds his lover as deep in thought as he is.

Ronon can be so silent sometimes. Radek often wonders what he thinks about as he stares out into the sea. Does he miss his home, or does he consider Atlantis his new home now? Does he wish the Wraith had never culled his planet, or has he put the past behind him? Does he regret his life as a Runner and a warrior, or is he glad of the chance to hurt the creatures that destroyed his world?

It isn’t long before Ronon’s gaze turns towards Radek, softening as their eyes meet. Reaching out, he pulls Radek towards him and claims his mouth hungrily, hands tightening around Radek’s shoulders possessively. Relaxing in his lover’s grasp, Radek fights back playfully with his tongue and feels the sheet unravel from its loose knot around his hips and fall to the ground, leaving him as naked as Ronon. Now their bodies are free to press against each other and Ronon’s skin radiates heat, as warm as if they were wrapped up in a blanket.

Ronon keeps his hand on the back of Radek’s neck when they separate, holding him close. “You looked like you were having some pretty deep thoughts,” he breathes, sliding his other hand down Radek’s torso. “Tell me what you were thinking.”

Radek cups his lover’s cheek in one hand. “Nothing,” he smiles, bringing Ronon’s head towards him for another kiss. They will find their way back into the bedroom or make love here under the Lantean sky, and Ronon will know everything that Radek was thinking by the taste of his skin, the pitch of his moans and the tightness of his hands around Ronon’s dreadlocks as he comes apart under Ronon’s hands.

Ronon is the man who notices everything, and he will always be able to read Radek like an open book, but that’s OK because Radek can read him too. He doesn’t have to hear the whisper that escapes the Satedan’s lips to know that Ronon loves him.